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How Can I Keep Social Media From Ruining My Relationship?

shans0325

By Shannon Schubert

Published April 11th, 2023



It’s no secret that seeing picture-perfect, wealthy, and sociable individuals on the Internet can make us question our own self-worth. It’s already hard enough to maintain our sanity in the era of social media, but how about the need to maintain our healthy relationships as well? Much like the conflict we’re already causing within ourselves, social media has opened a whole new world of ways to spark conflict in our romantic relationships. In this new era of digitization, it’s important to utilize these four tips to conserve your smooth-sailing relationship.

The #1 tip to keeping social media from interfering with you and yours is to remain transparent on the Internet. It helps to treat social media as if it were a public, in-person interaction. Would your significant other approve of the things you’re saying or doing on social media? Although the Internet can feel like this alternative world we’re living in, what we do online has the power to punish us in real life. Having ground rules is so important because it defines how the path of heart, mind, words, actions, and feelings accompanied by no sense of boundaries can become the perfect formula for unfaithfulness (Palanci, 2020). If you’re playing your part in the relationship and staying loyal to your partner, there should be no hiding or sneaking around. This is when trust becomes broken and issues start to form. In order to avoid these kinds of disputes, converse on social media like your partner is in the conversation as well.

We must also refrain from comparing our relationship to the ones we see on our timelines. Looking at other’s picture-perfect relationships through the lens of social media can leave us deeply dissatisfied with what we already have. The truth is that we’re programmed to only boast about our best moments on the Internet. It’s hard to depict how truly “happy” these people are when we’re only seeing what they want us to see. When we can’t escape the luxury “baecation” pictures and the romantic dinner dates, it’s easy to look at our real-life relationships as less than. To back this, a social comparison study run by Marian Morry and Tamara Sucharyna proved that individuals in relationships reacted negatively to upward comparisons which resulted in lower relationship satisfaction and less happiness (Morry & Sucharyna, 2018). Obsessing over the surface-level love we’re seeing on the Internet, more so than not, leads to unrealistic standards that sooner or later will drive our partners away. In order to healthily indulge in and be grateful for what our own relationships bring to the table, straying away from the online comparison game is crucial.

Another important tip to avoid ruining a good relationship is setting ground rules regarding social media use. It’s much easier to misinterpret communication in a virtual space vs. an in-person conversation. There is little room to depict body language and tone online and having to guess the meaning of a message sparks unnecessary difficulties that can be avoided with ground rule agreements. Your partner is not you, and therefore has different “hot buttons'' or triggers than you may have. Your social media boundaries must be concrete in order to avoid confusion, so you must be upfront with each other about your media dos and don’ts. The best way to address these concerns is to have an in-person conversation with your partner about social media use. Ask them questions regarding what is labeled acceptable and unacceptable behavior online. These valuable answers will prevent you from stepping on your significant other's toes and enforce conscious social media usage.

Finally, aim to keep your private life off social media to maintain the “a private life is a happy life” mantra. For many, it’s a force of habit to capture your relationships' best moments and share them online; but little do you realize that oversharing your relationship online unwittingly disperses your personal business as well. In fact, a study found that users have become more comfortable sharing their private information online and challenging the “social norms” of privacy now more than ever before (Sarikakis & Winter, 2017). When you bring your entire online community through the ups and downs of your relationship, you make it easier for strangers to plague your love-life with unnecessary gossip and drama. Posting sensitive and intimate content for the world to see puts your partner in a very vulnerable position as well. Relationships tend to spoil when you’re constantly posting about them, so resist the urge to overshare your relationship status. Honestly, the world doesn’t care enough to see what’s going on behind closed doors, so avoid the 24/7 updates for you and your relationships well-being.   
        
There is a lot of negativities online nowadays, and the last thing any of us want is for any of it to diffuse into our own happy and healthy relationships offline. Practicing these concepts daily will not only strengthen your bond with your partner but allow you to personally flourish mentally and psychologically knowing you’re secure in your trustworthy relationship.
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